GET YOUR INNOCENCE ON!
by switch.alchemist
Summary: That's right, you heard me. You better shuffle your decks because Poker Pair week is about to take one interesting turn. And it involves tons and tons of card games. Children's card games that is. Can you play your cards right?
1. Duel Start!

**GET YOUR INNOCENCE ON!**

_A fail YGOxDGM yaoi crossover. Enjoy._

Cast List (just in case you actually cared)

Allen – Yugi

Lavi – Joey

Kanda – Tristan

Lenalee – Tea

Tyki – Bakura

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**DISCLAIMER:*****I do not own Yu-Gi-Oh or -Man. And I don't think anyone really wants to own this piece of work.***

**WARNING: CRACK FIC. THIS IS NOT TO BE TAKEN SERIOUSLY. COME ON FOLKS, ITS ALL IN GOOD FUN.**

With that, let's get this show on the road.

Theme: Homosexual Card Games.

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_Season 1 Episode 113: Evil Sprit of the Ring: DGM Style: With more Yaoi: And swearing: And just a whole lot of 4kid's worst nightmares come alive. _

Suddenly, the atmosphere around the group shifted. A darker tone fell upon them.

"Who are you, and what have you done with Tyki?!" Allen asked, almost terrified to learn the answer. Then again, he'd only known Tyki for a whole of ten minutes before he turned evil.

Tyki lit a cigarette and pushed back his thick curly hair. He took a drag before answering Allen, "I thought it would be more fun if I raised the stakes a bit. Seeing as I already know you can beat me at regular cards; I decided we should play a shadow game."

This wasn't sounding good to Allen.

_I'm the king of Card Games. Pull yourself together! Remember when in doubt, cheat._

"Alright Tyki, I accept your challenge … since we _are_ in the Shadow Realm anyway, might as well have fun with it." Allen looked around; all he could see was a tree stump in front of him.

"That's just what I wanted to hear," Tyki could feel his Noah side taking complete control, "Let's add another bar if you're so willing." Tyki let out a slight cough and lowered his voice, "The winner gets to *cough* have a lemon scene with the loser. *cough*"

"Umm, sorry, but I didn't quite catch that last part…"

"GAME START!" Tyki said holding back an evil chuckle, "Soon your innocence will be mine!"

"Good luck with that one … whoever you are." Allen was having second thoughts about duelling this freak.

Allen and the new evil Tyki both shuffled their cards. Allen was trying to understand his opponent, meanwhile Tyki was thinking of the best way to get Allen out of those pants.

"I play one card face down –" Allen said, placing a card on the field.

"I'll play _you_ face down." Tyki grinned at Allen.

"And I'll ignore that comment."

"FUCK YOU, MOYASHI!" Kanda yelled, hopping out from under the face down card. "I am NOT the uke! Take this you bastard! Mugen, go!"

Kanda attacked Allen's Life Points directly.

Suddenly, a panel holding up giant numbers descended from the ceiling. Tyki's still read "5000" and Allen's dropped down to "3200".

Allen stared in shock at his lost Life Points.

"What was that for Ba-Kanda?! Why are you so bloody stupid!?"

"We'll it's your fault for playing me … fuck. I hate this." Kanda crossed his arms and walked back to his place on the board.

If Tyki was surprised by Kanda's outburst, he hid it well.

"Say Allen, who's your little friend? He sure looks tough, but can he handle this? I play the White Top Hat face up." Tyki looked directly at Allen with a sinister smile, "Go Top Hat. Kill Allen's friend; then it can be just you and me again, Allen. I don't like to share."

Allen could not answer to that; and Kanda was just horrified.

The White Top Hat turned his gleaming smile towards Kanda. "Heehee. Come and play, little exorcist ."

"No way in Hell," was Kanda's only answer.

The White Top Hat pulled a sword out from behind him, and without moving his feet he pointed it at Kanda and fired. A white light came out of the end hitting Kanda square in the chest.

"Kanda! Run you moron!" Allen yelled at the small version of his friend.

"Moyashi. You fucking id-" But Kanda was cut off before he could finish; his image shattering into thousands of pieces.

"Aww poor little card. Guess he wasn't so strong after all. Now it's in the graveyard with your friend's soul trapped within. But you have to admit; with him gone, we can get a lot closer Allen." Tyki said leaning on the game board.

Allen had just about had enough of Tyki's remarks, "Where is he?"

"Do you even listen? He's in the fucking graveyard. And I just said this,"

"But Kanda can't be gone …"

Tyki sighed, "Get over it. You two weren't going anywhere anyway. Our love, however, will prevail!"

Allen looked down at the other cards in his hand. _I just got to win. If Tyki beats me … lets not even consider that one. _

"I play Flame Swordsman, in attack mode!"

"Why am I the Flame Swordsman … I wanted to be Red Eyes Bl– HOLY SHIT! WHERE AM I? WHY IS ALLEN HUGE? IS THAT A GIANT TYKI? WHAT THE FU—"

"Lavi! Calm down. We're playing a Shadow Game against Tyki, and we need to win."

"Why what happens if we lose?" Lavi said, already over his initial shock.

Tyki laughed at Lavi's question, "How about you stick around and you'll find out."

Lavi let a dramatic sweat drop fall beside his head, "Let's just win, okay Allen?"

"Sounds good to me, Lavi." Allen said with a smile.

"Hey knock it off, you! Allen is mine!" Tyki took a quick glance at his cards.

"Here, the perfect card. Oh, Road~!"

Tyki played Road Camelot in attack mode.

"Look, Road! I got you a Lavi to play with. Now run along, I got my own toy to get back to."

Road walked out from her card. She hopped onto her umbrella Lero, and floated close to the White Top Hat.

"Eaaaarrrlll! Why is Tyki so big? And why is Allen his!? That's not fair. Earl!! Make Tyki say he's sorry!" Road whined.

"Now Road, I told you to play with that bunny over there. Be good, or I'll send you to the graveyard again." Tyki's glare was enough to shut Road up.

"I've had enough of this! FLAME SWORDSMAN ATTACK! Or something like that!" Lavi yelled running straight for the White Top Hat.

Lavi defeated the White Top Hat. Tyki's Life Points were lowered.

"That's it. I'm done fucking around … but not with you, Allen," Tyki added with a wink. Allen shuddered.

"I play Monster Reborn. Kanda, come back from the graveyard! And Tyki please keep your comments to yourself."

"Oh, you don't mean that." Tyki said taking another drag from his cigarette.

"-iot! Wait what?" Kanda said now standing back on the board.

"Yuu-chan!"

"Fuck."

Tyki wasn't impressed by Allen's move. "You brought _him_ back?! Seriously?"

"Fuck you." Kanda spat.

Allen looked down at his friends and back up to Tyki, "Of course I brought Kanda back, he can last this whole battle!"

"I can last all night. What's your point?"

Kanda was getting more and more pissed off with this duel with each passing second. It didn't help that Lavi was now hanging on his arm.

"Can we move it along here? We all know you want to fuck Allen."

"Yuu-chan! We need to protect Allen!"

"Che. Yeah, right."

"Hey! I'm the one duelling here! You're just a card, Kanda!" Allen said, crossing his arms, "By the way … if you're all cards, does that mean that Lenalee's a card too?"

The trio looked at each other, all thinking the same thing.

"_We can't let her be around Tyki."_

Lavi swung his hammer-sword over his shoulder. "I guess we're going to have to win before her card gets played."

Across the board Road yawned, "Tyki, can I kill them all now?"

"In a second, I need to break up the love fest with a sexy line first."

Tyki placed a card face down on the field. He looked at it, as if considering the possibilities. "I play my face down trap card! Just desserts!"

Suddenly, a giant hand came out of the card and grabbed Allen.

"What the—" Allen yelled before the hand clamped over his mouth.

"Personally, I wouldn't mind mine with some whip cream, but that's just me." Tyki said with a smile.

Allen's Life Points were lowered by five hundred.

"The fuck was that card?" Kanda said looking up at Allen, who was recovering from the attack.

"I think it's called S&M, Yuu." Lavi stated.

Kanda gave Lavi a sideways glance, "Thanks fucking tips."

Tyki let out an evil laugh he had been holding in the whole time, "Now Allen. It's your move."

**TO BE CONTINUED! **

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A super special awesome mention needs to go to Crimson-Moon-Beams and DawnPhoenix, without whom this whould not be possible. And all that sappy goodness.

Hopefully I'll actually continue this, it was buckets of fun to write!

Alchemist.


	2. Duel End?

Hey everyone! In a second I'll go through the usual disclaimer and warning stuff, but there is something special hiding in this chapter!

That's right, ACTUAL 4kid's dialog! Cookies to whoever can find them!

**DISCLAIER: **I don't own YGO or DGM

**WARNING: **This is a crack fic, and it's random. You've been warned!

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_Season 1 Episode 113: Evil Sprit of the Ring: DGM Style: With more Yaoi: And swearing: And just a whole lot of 4kid's worst nightmares come alive. Part two ..._

**PREVIOUSLY ON CARDS GONE WILD! … I MEAN YU-GI-- I MEAN -MA -- I MEAN, THIS FANFIC!**

Tyki dramatically swept back his hair and let out a maniacal laugh, "Now Allen. It's your move."

--

Allen looked at the cards in his hand. There wasn't much he could do.

"_Play the Crowned Clown, Allen,"_ A deep voice said in the back of his head.

Allen wasn't sure whether he should obey it or not. Hearing voices in your head was never a good sign; however he didn't have much choice.

Allen took a deep breath, "I play Crowned Clown in defence mode!"

Once he said that he felt like his consciousness was being pulled.

_What is this?_

Allen blinked to see that his perspective of the world just shifted. He was at the level of his friends. Looking up he saw a giant form of his body; but something was different. The giant Allen had a much more sinister aura around him.

"Two Moyashis?! Fuck," Kanda exclaimed in shock.

Lavi, on the other hand, was ecstatic to have another Allen. He was about to jump onto Allen's arm when he heard a high pitched shriek.

"ALLLEEENNNN~!"

Allen was pushed backward by the force of Road's hug.

Road looked up at Tyki with a sparkle in her eye, "Hey Tyki, bet you wish you could do this," she said before pulling Allen into a kiss.

Tyki stood in shock. Not only had Road just grabbed onto _his_ Allen, but now there were two. He wasn't sure whether to be happy or livid.

"That's it! Fuck you Road. I sacrifice my Road Camelot,"

"Tyki! Nooo! I don't want to go back there! Please Tyki, I'm sorry!" Road cried still holding onto Allen, "Please Allen don't let me go!"

"Umm … I'm sorry Road, but I can't-" Allen wasn't sure how to answer.

Road Camelot was send to the graveyard.

The image in Allen arms shattered into a million pieces.

"You know, maybe having two Allens isn't all that bad. The things I can do with two of them … the possibilities are endless." Tyki came out of his fantasy for a moment and winked at the big Allen to see his reaction. To his dismay, the big Allen didn't even flinch.

"Wow Allen. I didn't know you were hiding an alter ego inside you all this time," Lavi said patting Allen on the shoulder, as if he was proud of him.

Kanda walked over to Allen and crossed his arms, "No wonder you're screwed up in the head, Moyashi,"

"My name is Allen, Ba-Kanda. And no, I haven't been hiding an alter ego. I don't know who that is,"

The giant Allen leaned closer, "Of course you know me Allen," his voice was loud and commanding, "Remember me from the Ark?"

"Hey hey! Come on now people, it's my move. Let's get this over with soon; I don't want my Allen sandwich getting cold." Tyki held up one of the cards in his hand, "I play the trap card Change of Heart. This card allows me to take control of any monster I choose. And guess what? Allen you're going to mine."

"Leave the young one out of this!" giant Allen yelled, "I play one card face down!"

Tyki put on a hurt expression, "You do know it's my turn: you can't play a card. Me however, you can play anytime."

Down on the game board, Kanda was trying his best to just ignore the chaos happening around him. Lavi was now clinging onto Allen, and Tyki's strange "Change of Heart" card was floating as if waiting.

Suddenly, Kanda felt a tapping on his shoulder. He turned to look, only to find himself staring straight into Lenalee's face.

"Fuck! Lenalee what are doing here? Fuck! Get back under your card!"

Lenalee gave Kanda a dazed look, "What's going on? Why are there two Allens?"

"Lenalee!" Allen said in a hushed whisper, "Get under your card!"

Allen, Kanda, and Lavi all tried to hide their friend from Tyki's view.

"How stupid do you think I am? I can see her you know." Tyki stated nonchalantly, "And now, I'm going to kill her. Whose idea was it to bring a girl to the battlefield anyway?"

"But didn't you play Road –" Lavi asked confused.

"Change of Heart; get Allen the Crowned Clown!" Tyki yelled ignoring Lavi's comment.

Allen looked back and forth to the faces of his friends. They were all he had; he couldn't attack them! He turned to stare up at the giant Allen.

_Please don't let me hurt my friends._

"Sorry buddy; you on your own." Giant Allen said, as if reading Allen's mind.

"Bloody Hell! Aren't you supposed to say something comforting, or tell me that we'll get through this together?" Allen cried to his huge counterpart.

The big Allen just shrugged.

Change of Heart came closer and closer to Allen. With each step the card's face became more like Tyki's good side.

"The fuck? I'm lost. I thought Moyashi was fighting the freak, but now he's down here too?" Kanda asked in shock.

"HIDE BEHIND YUU-CHAN ALLEN!" Lavi said pushing Allen behind Kanda.

"Go die in a fire, Baka Usagi."

"Aww Allen, don't hide! I'll find you either way!" Change of Heart Tyki said in a seductive voice.

Lenalee was now beyond confused, and worst than that, she was being completely ignored. "Keep your greasy hands off of Allen, you creep!"

Just to spite Lenalee, Tyki walked up to Allen and place his hand on his head, "Just try and stop me," He lowed his head as if to bite Allen's ear, but before he could Tyki felt a smack across the back of his head.

The momentum pushed Tyki forward, and he ended up knocking Allen to the floor.

"Yuu-chan! Look what you've done!" Lavi yelled hiding his eyes with one hand, and Lenalee's eyes with the other.

As it would turn out; Tyki landed right on top of Allen, in quite a position.

"Get. Off. Now," Allen struggled to say.

Kanda loomed over Allen and Tyki, "Get up and fight you bastard,"

Tyki gave Kanda a smile, "You're just jealous,"

"OKAY I'VE HAD ENOUGH OF THIS!" the giant Noah Tyki shouted banging the game board; resulting in everyone getting thrown off balance. "Why does everyone _else_ get to be with Allen?"

"Ah, the Noah of Pleasure; you must calm down. You do realize that this is just a card game right?" Giant Allen said, completely calm, "Here try this instead; 14th's Song! Send this evil Noah to the game board!"

The two Tyki's changed positions.

"Fucking perfect," Kanda said with a smirk, "Mugen lets go!"

"Hey leave some for me too! FLAME SWORDSMAN ATTACK, AGAIN!" Lavi shouted taking a swing with his hammer-sword.

Allen jumped to his feet, "I want to attack too!"

"Fuck! Stay back! No! Damn this stupid card game!!" the Noah Tyki yelled as the trio descended on him.

Lenalee sat back and watched the boys attack. She looked up at the giant Allen, "Who are you anyway?" she asked.

"You'll learn soon enough. But for now, I think this Shadow Game is over."

--

Lavi sat up holding his head, "What a stupid dream …"

Kanda and Lenalee were sitting beside him on the forest floor, with Allen and Tyki standing not to far away.

"I had a weird dream too," Lenalee said, "And you were there Lavi and you too Kanda, and there were two Allens and two Tykis … Oh hi Allen."

Kanda just sat shaking his head.

"Hey Lenalee," Allen said nervously, knowing what question was soon to follow.

"Allen, I didn't know you had an alter ego!" Lavi yelled excitedly.

Allen sighed, "That's because I don't,"

"Whatcha talking about?" Tyki asked fixing his ridiculous glasses.

"HOLY CRAP, IT'S YOU!" Lavi screamed jumping into Kanda's lap.

Of course, Kanda instantly dropped him.

The group laughed; forgetting about Tyki's Noah side.

Lavi got up rubbing his sore behind, "Isn't about time we all hug and skip into the sunset together?"

"Group hug! Friends forever, guys!" Lenalee said with a smile. She then lowered her voice to add, "But seriously, who's that other guys?" she asked pointing to Tyki.

"Don't worry about him," Allen said.

"I'm not fucking hugging anyone." Kanda stated.

Lavi ignored Kanda and hugged him from behind, "Aw Yuu~!"

"Fuck you," Kanda said while tying to shake Lavi off.

"Come on guys! Let's go win Duellist Kingd--" Allen started to say before Tyki jumped him.

"Sorry couldn't help it," Tyki said with a smile before the screen turned dark.

**THE END OF EPISODE 113**

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Thanks for reading everyone! I'm glad people actually liked it.

However now the question is; continue this type of style for other YGO episodes or just leave it be?

It wasn't much of a "Poker Pair" entry anyway (I've never done one of these before, but I already know this wasn't the right style XD)

It was a fun ride though!

Special thanks again too:

Crimson-Moon-Beams, DawnPhoenix, and MissImpossible for their dirty minds :3


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